The Terror of Flitwick
by iLUVdraco
Summary: I'm warning you, this is a VERY insane fic. Let me tell you that you will never EVER see the ending coming. It isn't a normal story. Well, for me, it is VERY outta the ordinary. Please, r/r if you like insanity fics, cause this is VERY insane (didn't I al


A/N- Ok, some of my friends think I'm depressed. I know that I'm not, but considering that most of my fics end in sadness and depression, murder and suicide, it's kinda hard to tell. I admit that it is hard to tell if you read my stories, but I assure you that I'm NOT depressed. NOT NOT NOT!! ARRGGHH!! Ok, enough. Now, I'm not sure what on earth this story will wind up like, so I am warning you that it may get scary. I'm not good with happy endings so I assure you that if it comes out bad, it is because I have never written a happy story since I was in 3rd grade. hehe...anyway, I may just change it so that it becomes an insanity fic (like many of madgirl insane's fics) than, you'll understand that I had trouble thinking of a good idea for a happy story. Ok, enough of this BORING authors note and on with my fun disclaimer....  
  
I own nothing.   
  
  
  
The story takes place in the potions dungeon....  
  
  
Harry: Ron, I have some bad news for you.  
  
Ron: (looking somewhat scared as he sites down next to Harry) What? What's wrong?  
  
Harry: You can't sit there. (points at Ron's seat)  
  
Ron: Why?  
  
Harry: Because, my new best friend, Draco, is sitting there.  
  
Draco: Yeah, I'm sitting there.  
  
Ron: (stares between Draco and Harry looking very angry) You two? Best friends? Since when?  
  
Harry: We're best friends. Get away. We hate you.  
  
Ron: What?!?  
  
Draco: We told you to get away. We hate you. If you aren't careful, Snape will send Lupin on you.  
  
Ron: Lupin? He's nice.  
  
Draco: Not when he's a werewolf.  
  
Harry starts cackling.  
  
Ron: What's wrong with you Harry?Malfoy is evil. He's the person who wished you died, and called Hermione a Mudblood!  
  
Hermione: So? Me and Draco are in love!   
  
Hermione walks over to Draco and kisses him on the lips.  
  
Ron: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Draco: Shut up Weasley. We hate you, so shut up. I notice that you don't have a girlfriend.  
  
Hermione and Harry: Yeah, Weasley.  
  
Harry: Should we stay it again...or shall I spell it for you?  
  
Ron: Considering I can't spell, will you please spell it out for me?  
  
Draco mutters "dumbass" under his breath.  
  
Harry: W-E H-A-T-E Y-O-U-!  
  
Ron: Oh, I understand now.  
  
Snape: Weasley, sit down or I'll feed you to Lupin.  
  
Lupin growls in the background.  
  
Ron gulps. Harry laughs and Snape stides over to Ron.  
  
Snape: I warned you Weasley. Follow me.  
  
Ron: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Harry: YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!  
  
Snape pulls Ron into his office  
  
Lupin: FOOD!! YUMMY!!!  
  
Ron starts screaming....seconds later he is silenced. Lupin is growling and eating. Snape comes out, looking very happy.   
  
Snape: Lupin ate Ron.   
  
The class cheers.   
  
Lavender: We never liked him anyway!  
  
Snape: Good job, Miss Brown!! 50 points to Gryffindor for saying that!!   
  
Pansy: What?!?  
  
Snape: 50 points from Slytherin for talking back to me, Miss Parkinson, you evil bitch!!  
  
Pansy: (jumping up) HOW DARE YOU!! NOW YOU SHALL PAY!!  
  
Snape: (smiling, raises his wand) Avada Kedevra...  
  
The class cheers as Pansy falls to the ground...dead.  
  
Snape: For the rest of class, you can do whatever you want.   
  
Hermione and Draco move together and begin necking badly.   
  
Harry: Hey Parvati, come here.  
  
Parvati: Do you wanna make out? (looks hopefully)  
  
Harry: (smiling slyly) You read my mind.  
  
Harry and Parvati begin kissing. Whatever else they do is inapproprate for people to read.  
  
Snape: Ah, this is what potions class should be like...making out, murder, and...me.  
  
Crabbe: What fun.  
  
Snape: Who gave you permission to speak?  
  
Crabbe: I dunno.  
  
Snape: Why aren't you making out?  
  
Crabbe: Because, Goyle is sick.  
  
The class pauses and stares at him.  
  
Crabbe: What?!? Okay, I admit it, I'm gay!!  
  
Draco: Wow, I always knew you were weird, but I never knew you were gay.  
  
Goyle walks in the door.   
  
Goyle: Hi Crabbe, baby.  
  
The class goes back to what they were doing.  
  
Goyle walks over to Crabbe. They begin making out and doing even more inappropriate stuff than Harry and Parvati.  
  
The bell rings, and Fred and Goerge Weasley (for some odd reason) come running in.   
  
Fred: Guess what?  
  
The class: What?  
  
Goerge: We found out that Flitwick is a vampire...and he's on his way here!!  
  
Almost all the class jumps up in shock and starts screaming. However, our fun little couples don't hear, as they are still making out.   
  
Flitwick comes running into the room  
  
Flitwick: Severus, you have always been a jerk. Now I shall kill you!  
  
Snape: Wait! Don't vampires turn others into the undead?  
  
Flitwick: Most do, but I am a Chinese vampire! I just kill you painfully!  
  
Snape: (looks doubtful) You are Chinese?  
  
Flitwick: Oh yeah. (he pulls off a mask and reveles that he IS chinese)  
  
Snape: What?!? So our relationship has been nothing but a lie?!?  
  
The class (well, those who aren't making out) gasp  
  
The class: Snape, you are gay?!?  
  
Flitwick: Hahaha!! They've discovered your lie! Muwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!  
  
Then Flitwick runs forward and bites Snape in the neck. The class cheers as Flitwick starts sucking their blood. Snape screams, but the cheering drowns it out, and no one hears him. Then, Flitwick turns on the class.   
  
Flitwick: Now it is your turn! (Points at class)  
  
  
By the end of the day, everyone in England is dead. All becasue if our cheerful Charms teachers secret. I suppose that you never really could trust someone that short...  
  
Flitwick: Wait!! I'm really short aren't I? Doesn't that mean I'm a....  
  
Voice: LEPRICAUN!! HAHAHAHAHA  
  
Flitwick: Who are you! I thought I killed the whole world!  
  
Voice: You did, but we are the people you killed!  
  
Flitwick: HHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The voice comes down and gets Flitwick. Now the world is empty.  
  
THE END!!  
  
  
A/N- Was that insane enough to prove I'm not depressed? 


End file.
